I am always angry.
HAHAHA.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
loss of love.
have it ever occur to you that death actually means putting a stop to your life?
there will be no more YOU anymore. people around you, whether they are close to your heart or merely a acquaintance, loses a loved one / a sister / a brother / a daughter / a son / a companion / a colleague / a friend / a classmate / a client and many other more relations that you might never realise.
suddenly, people start pinning for you, not being able to come to deal that you are actually not in this world anymore. there is just no more YOU. they start missing all your actions, your words, your reactions, your laughter.. the time you spent with them, what you did, how you did it, and where..
the person who passed on may not be able to feel.. yet the pain of loss is excruciating to those still alive.
this is especially so when there has not been enough time to say good bye, not enough time to settle each and every little nooks and cranny of every single thing.. not enough time to see your family grow in harmony.. not enough time to repay your parents' /teachers' / guardians' kindness.. not enough time to take care of things that you should..
i often wonder how it is like when im not around anymore. touch wood, i know i should not be thinking about this, let alone pen in down here. but, i really do wonder. i will not be able to blog like now, not able to do many things..
and in many lifes of others, i will just be a memory to them. photos might do justice to let others remember me.. videos might be even better..
but im not "on LIVE" anymore.
an organization will lose a member, a company will lose a worker, a family will lose a love one, a class will lose a student..
just purely pain.. but amazing.
no matter how strong, how tough, how muscular, how healthy.. we will still crumble and succumb to death. it will not mean that death goes by age..
for the young to send the old is natural, the pain is too. for the old to send the young, what is that kind of pain called?
as mom says, when we are around, we must treasure everything that we have.
sometimes we forget, but we try.
_______________________
this is an entry dedicated to my dear cousin, who left us on Saturday, 20th march 2010. having struggled with viruses in his body for merely 1.5 months, he left. he left leaving his wife who just gave birth about a month ago, and a precious son who is merely 4.
at the age of 37, he found out of his terminal disease only 1.5 months ago. with all the medicine, treatments and all other means, it was still impossible to win this war.
today, the cremation ceremony was too heart wrenching for me to describe in words.
with his son's innocent but persistent questions of : "where is my daddy?" "daddy go where already?", we couldn't help but bawl. the heartache, the pain of loss, the sympathies felt for the kid.
what has he to know that daddy will never come back? that daddy is gone, and will never be appearing before him again?
he is merely 4.
heartfelt condolences to my aunt, my uncle, and Liqing jie jie.
and rest in peace, Leong kor kor.
we will miss you, you know that.
there will be no more YOU anymore. people around you, whether they are close to your heart or merely a acquaintance, loses a loved one / a sister / a brother / a daughter / a son / a companion / a colleague / a friend / a classmate / a client and many other more relations that you might never realise.
suddenly, people start pinning for you, not being able to come to deal that you are actually not in this world anymore. there is just no more YOU. they start missing all your actions, your words, your reactions, your laughter.. the time you spent with them, what you did, how you did it, and where..
the person who passed on may not be able to feel.. yet the pain of loss is excruciating to those still alive.
this is especially so when there has not been enough time to say good bye, not enough time to settle each and every little nooks and cranny of every single thing.. not enough time to see your family grow in harmony.. not enough time to repay your parents' /teachers' / guardians' kindness.. not enough time to take care of things that you should..
i often wonder how it is like when im not around anymore. touch wood, i know i should not be thinking about this, let alone pen in down here. but, i really do wonder. i will not be able to blog like now, not able to do many things..
and in many lifes of others, i will just be a memory to them. photos might do justice to let others remember me.. videos might be even better..
but im not "on LIVE" anymore.
an organization will lose a member, a company will lose a worker, a family will lose a love one, a class will lose a student..
just purely pain.. but amazing.
no matter how strong, how tough, how muscular, how healthy.. we will still crumble and succumb to death. it will not mean that death goes by age..
for the young to send the old is natural, the pain is too. for the old to send the young, what is that kind of pain called?
as mom says, when we are around, we must treasure everything that we have.
sometimes we forget, but we try.
_______________________
this is an entry dedicated to my dear cousin, who left us on Saturday, 20th march 2010. having struggled with viruses in his body for merely 1.5 months, he left. he left leaving his wife who just gave birth about a month ago, and a precious son who is merely 4.
at the age of 37, he found out of his terminal disease only 1.5 months ago. with all the medicine, treatments and all other means, it was still impossible to win this war.
today, the cremation ceremony was too heart wrenching for me to describe in words.
with his son's innocent but persistent questions of : "where is my daddy?" "daddy go where already?", we couldn't help but bawl. the heartache, the pain of loss, the sympathies felt for the kid.
what has he to know that daddy will never come back? that daddy is gone, and will never be appearing before him again?
he is merely 4.
heartfelt condolences to my aunt, my uncle, and Liqing jie jie.
and rest in peace, Leong kor kor.
we will miss you, you know that.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
interview
it has been 2 years since i went for an interview.
omg.
interview tml.
wish me good luck k!
:)
omg.
interview tml.
wish me good luck k!
:)
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
polaroids!
had fun taking polaroids using the cutest polaroid camera ever. :)
love to make silly faces infront of the camera and see how it turns out almost immediately.
u might say "isnt that the same as using a digital camera? moreover using a digital camera u can even delete the picture off if you dont like it. " well. thats the fun of using a polaroid! u canot delete the picture and thats that! also, not to mention the anticipation of waiting to see which frame u get. [i use disney frames, not plain ugly white frame, thats why] the size of the polaroid fits just nicely in any wallet, and the instant print saves the hassle of needing to develop the photo in film shops.
i enjoy giving out the polaroids to my friends after i've taken photos of them... so that they can have my photo in their wallet. hehehe.
lets all go out and take more polaroids!
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Monday, March 01, 2010
injections
bo tai bo ji went to get 2 injection jabs at the clinic yesterday.
had in mind to take my H1n1 prevention vaccine, but the doctor also mentioned something like drawing some blood out for testing if i have Hep A n B immune system in me. if i have the immune system already, good for me. if not, i have 3 more jabs to take for the immune system to be introduced to my body.
so i went ahead with the blood test and thus got myself 2 jabs in a day.
:)
i think im psycho.
i kind of like the feeling of injection.
heh.
had in mind to take my H1n1 prevention vaccine, but the doctor also mentioned something like drawing some blood out for testing if i have Hep A n B immune system in me. if i have the immune system already, good for me. if not, i have 3 more jabs to take for the immune system to be introduced to my body.
so i went ahead with the blood test and thus got myself 2 jabs in a day.
:)
i think im psycho.
i kind of like the feeling of injection.
heh.
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